5 Tips for Parenting a Child With ADHD
Parenting a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can be very challenging. Of course, there are medical interventions as well as educational plans that your child’s team or specialist can recommend that will help you manage the issues that are common to ADHD. But there are also a few practical things that you can do in your daily life that can support you and your child well.
Create a regular “special time”
A foundation for building a connection with your child, these “dates” alone with your child can be opportunities to communicate that he is special to you. Find things that you both enjoy and things he particularly enjoys, to tell him that you are interested in that which interests him. Stepping into his world says that you value who he is. Having fun together is a special kind of preventative glue for the hard moments that inevitably come.
Choose a spirit of positivity
Focus on what you love about your child. Delight in her funny little quirks, fast-moving mind, and higher energy levels before you start teaching her how to pump her brain’s brakes. Choosing to take joy in her unique way of doing life will increase her sense of felt safety with you. Making her feel safe with you will, in turn, make it easier to connect with her.
If you struggle with reveling in her particular way of navigating through life, try to go at it from another angle. For example, observe and identify her unique skills and talents, then figure out ways to build her up and find opportunities to strengthen those talents.
Tighten up your routine
Create structured routines, such as waking and bedtime, dinner hour, and homework time. Predictable routines offer boundaries in which your child can safely navigate. But these routines are also freeing for you. You don’t have to “drive the train,” and you can be free to enjoy your child within the boundaries you’ve established for the day.
Pay attention to transition times in those routines. Kids with ADHD often struggle to change from one activity to another. Figure out what works to support them in transitioning and create a predictable plan for that as well. Create visual aids (checklists and picture schedules) to help him organize both the critical parts of his day and his specific tasks.
Kids with ADHD also often struggle with sleep. Establishing a predictable and calming bedtime routine is crucial for several reasons. Predictable routines can minimize the chaos of transitioning from daytime activity to slowing down to falling asleep. Calming structure signals to your child that it’s time to rest, mentally and physically.
Increase the physical activity
Build on your connection by being active together as a whole family. Get your bodies moving and make it fun. Encourage your child to find a physical activity that he enjoys on his own, as well. Lots of fresh air, exercise, and sunshine are good for us all. But kids with ADHD need that type of physical stimulation for their brains to function well.
Get some help for yourself
If you feel overwhelmed by the demands of parenting a child with ADHD, bring in some support where you need it. Whether it’s laundry, online grocery ordering, meal delivery services, or cleaning help, try to off-load chores that overwhelm and distract you from fully engaging with or enjoying your child.
When affording those supports is not an option, enlist the help of family members or others in your circle for even just a short season to get some relief. Or re-structure your day to take advantage of the help that is available at a time that it will help you the most.
For example, if Dad gets home a few minutes before you do, create a plan for him to take your son over to the neighborhood park for an hour. Use that time to get into “home mode” and start a load of laundry or heat up dinner uninterrupted. Or, take advantage of your day care’s late closing hours on Wednesdays. Treat yourself to a quiet early dinner before picking him up. If your spouse needs the relief, too, then make a date of it.
The challenges of parenting a child with ADHD are not easy to overcome. But with some intention, planning, and re-framing of the issues, you can set your family up for success together.
For more in-depth information on how to parent a child with ADHD, check out the radio show from our partners at Creating a Family, on Practical Tips for Parenting a Child with ADHD.